This week in Netflix

April 28, 2008 on 4:13 pm | In Movies, Netflix |

Every week, the DVD-through-the-mail site Netflix announces new DVDs for rental. Most are films that never got a theatrical release. Ethan Kaye brings you This Week In Netflix, the most inexplicable actual description of an actual film actually posted by the Netflix staff.

This week?

The Weekend
Directed by Michael Todd Kuskin, this rollicking indie comedy chronicles the high-spirited fun at a wild weekend shindig thrown by well-heeled high schooler Jacob Meyers (Kristian Kordula). Hormones rage out of control as Benjamin (Beau Allulli) tries to bed his reluctant girlfriend, Marty summons his courage to pursue his dream girl (Elizabeth G. Wilson), and the geeks turn up looking to change their image.

Many of you may be familiar with this plot, as it seems to have borrowed from about 90 other movies, including American Pie, Can’t Hardly Wait, Revenge of the Nerds, and the parody of all of them, Not Another Teen Movie. I do not doubt that the 8 stars this film got on IMDB were from people who had not seen the movies The Weekend ripped off. It’s also possible that the cast and crew of The Weekend got together and each gave the film 8 stars, just to skew the results. There’s also the slim chance that this is the BEST TEEN HORMONE COMEDY EVER and I’m just being cynical.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not that interested in a movie where hormones rage out of control. To me, that just sounds like a lot of scenes where characters are acting desperate, and that doesn’t make for a good film.

One of the big selling points, right off the bat, in this Netflix description, is the fact that The Weekend is directed by Michael Todd Kuskin, which would be more impressive if Michael Todd Kuskin did anything other than direct and star in The Weekend. He hasn’t, and neither has his sister, Joey Kuskin, who played “drunk girl #3,” nor his mother, Laurie Kuskin, who played “Jacob’s Mom,” nor did casting consultant Emily Knopf, who also played “Ms. Roth,” nor Emily’s husband, Marshall Knopf, who played “nerd’s dad,” nor did their daughter Elizabeth Knopf, who played “drunk girl #4,” nor their son, Max Knopf, who played “Donny.”

This would be the point in a review, if I were a competant critic, where I’d say, “And I hope we see more from this talented cast,” but instead I’ll say, “It’s ok to say ‘no’ to your friends and relatives when they ask you to star in a movie about teen hormones.”

This week’s runner up

In The Blood
Finally ready to explore his attraction to men, college jock Cassidy (Tyler Hanes) goes out with sexy Victor (Carlos Alberto Valencia). But in the middle of their foreplay, he has a disturbing vision of his sister’s death, which may be linked to the recent murders on campus. A serial killer is on the loose, and the only way for Cassidy to have more psychic visions to help catch the murderer is to embrace his homosexuality completely.

This probably should have gotten top billing, but The Weekend was just so chock full of nepotism I couldn’t let it slide. However, I can imagine what the scene inside the police station was like.

“What? Slow down, you’re saying you know where he’s going to strike next? How? Um…that’s…not really standard police procedure. And…you say if you embrace your homosexuality completely, you’ll succeed where we have failed? Well, uh, if it gets you out of our station quicker, I say go for it. Godspeed, junior psychic gay deputy Cassidy! You can take the hovercar.”