The Stories Behind the San Diego Comic Con Costumes

August 6, 2008 on 7:21 pm | In Comic Cons, Comics, Insanity, Weak Attempt |

Three days before Comic Con:

TUCKER: “Oh boy, oh boy, I have the perfect costume for Mexican wrestling night and the Comic Con! I got this great red and blue Spider-Man costume and I’m going to be mad awesome. Everyone at Comic Con’s going to be doing weird characters, but you can’t go wrong with the red & blue! Classy, classy, classy! I’ll just wear it to Mexican wrestling night then off to the con floor!”

Two days before Comic Con, at the Mexican wrestling night:

REF: And El Spidero takes a hit to the gut! And another! And another! And…OOOOOH! A knee right to the face!

TUCKER: (splutter, splutter) I can’t…(cough, retch)

REF: Looks like El Spidero’s going to be…OH JESUS CRISTO! That’s a full on boot to the face!

TUCKER: (cough) Gaaaaahhhh….(splutter, splutter)

One day before Comic Con, at the costume store:

TUCKER: Uh, hi. By dame is Tucker. I bwas id here the utha day.

CLERK: Dear Lord, what the hell happened to your nose?

TUCKER: Is broked. (cough, spatter)

CLERK: I am totally sorry, man. It’s all over by your ear n’ junk.

TUCKER: Cad I geb a refud on dis bask? (holds up blood-filled Spider-man mask)

CLERK: Dude, that’s medical waste at this point. And it’s Comic Con season, I can’t get you a new costume, those things sold out fast.

TUCKER: Crab.

CLERK: Here, I have something that might work. You need something, man, I can’t believe you’re even out of the house with a face like that. Your eye’s like all sunken in and crap. This is a Spider-man 3 mask. The rest of the costume has pee on it, so we through it out, but the mask doesn’t have as much pee on it, so we threw it in the bargain bin.

TUCKER: Thaks.