We’re gonna make a BABY! Through the internet!

November 12, 2008 on 4:14 am | In Weak Attempt, advertising |

American advertising has, unfortunately, gone insane. It always has been a bit mad, what with making an antacid a living creature with arms and legs and exposing us to the phrase “Dude, You’re Getting A Dell,” but now things have gotten out of hand. Now we can use the magics of the internets to actually create our children.

Yes, this is something the Russians could never have put together.

Thanks to a website advertising some damn car, we can combine photographs to MAKE OUR OWN BABY. Take your photo, the photo of a loved one, and with a bit of technological wizardry, the program squishes them together into something resembling offspring. Just to think, the internet was originally invented to make the military converse faster and now just LOOK! You can combine faces into a single person.

Amazing! Fantastic! Awesome! This internet that sends emails around the world, files your taxes and translates documents can now be used for a tangential advertising campaign for a car! A car and a baby have nothing to do with each other! And lo and behold, there it is! Thank you, internets! You are awesome!

Why, you could expand your mind by reading Wizard online, or research historical characters like Sir Fredereck Gas on wikipedia, or even watch women urinate on any number of websites, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO, you’re spending your time squishing faces together to see what your kids would look like. Does it work? Well, judge for yourself.