Book of the year!

March 10, 2009 on 1:21 pm | In Insanity, Internet, advertising | 3 Comments

My vote for book of the year:

Believe it, the title is BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!” (note the two exclamation points in the title)

Have I read it? Nope. Never will either. It’s 648 pages, weighs close to 4 lbs, and it written by a completely crazy woman.How crazy? The title doesn’t say it all for you? Or even the subtitle, which is hard to read, “MANY FALSE CHRIST MARRIAGES ARE LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL AND NOW LEADING THE AMERICAN CHURCH WEALTH!”? Well, her Amazon page contains some delightful gems from deep inside the crevasse which is her insane mind.

THIS IS A HOLYSPIRIT MANUSCRIPT BOOK: WHEN YOU BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL BE READING A HOLYSPIRIT DIRECTED BOOK FROM GOD; & *CHRIST JESUS. THIS BOOK IS GODS HOLYSPIRIT VOICE: THE CALL FOR ALL CHRISTIANS & CHURCHES TO REPENT FROM ALL THEIR SINS: EVEN FROM FALSE CHRIST TEACHINGS. BIRTH CONTROL SINS HAVE CURSE THE CHURCH WITH SPIRITUAL WHOREDOM & FALSE WORSHIP.

Please note that the Holy Spirit [sic] and Christ Jesus think everything is important, so it must be in all caps. That, and a colon makes the perfect transition between one lost thought and another. I may revisit my declaration never to read this book, because it’s probably chock full of insane, but not in an easily copy and paste format that I can put on the internet. And no, it’s not on Kindle.

Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson is a strong woman who feels the need to yell stuff, but she’s not without her critics.

BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS: MANY WORDS IN THIS BOOK: MADE HAVE BEEN CHANGED: TO>>DISCREDIT: THE AUTHOR. BUT IN TRUTH: I AM A HOLYSPIRIT CHOSEN ANOINTED DISCIPLE FOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS. EVEN FOR JEWS, MUSLIMS & GENTILE SINNERS.

MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON: ALSO PETITION FOR THE MAYOR SEAT IN TUCSON ARIZONA IN 1998. BECAUSE OF ORGANIZED CRIMES, POLICTICAL RACISM AND CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION AGAINST ELIYZABETH: HOLYSPIRIT EVANGELIST LIFE:

Lizzy, I can guarantee you that none of those things was the reason you didn’t get the mayoral seat. At least, I assume she didn’t, she doesn’t say anything else on the subject except that cryptic sentence.

You can get a good idea of her life story just by reading her ramblings on her Amazon page, the page that’s supposed to entice you to buy the book. She wanders off-topic occasionally, although it’s safe to say that selling her book is not the main goal of getting on Amazon.

GOD TOLD ME TO TEACH THE GOSPEL ON CABLE TELEVISION IN TUCSON ARIZONA. *CONCERNING THE SINS OF THE CHURCHES: & CONCERNING THE>LACK OF GIVING TO THE POOR & ORPHANS: CHRISTIAN CHURCHES SHOULD: BUILD MORE:> WATER WELLS: & BUILD LOW INCOME HOUSINGS: MATTHEW 25 & ISAIAH 61

But wait, there’s more! If writing 700-page books in broken English about not havin’ babies because they might become priests one day doesn’t keep the men charging away from your door (and the photo doesn’t either), Miss Crazy Cleo is also a black belt in karate!

MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG: ALSO HAS A 1ST DEGREE BLACK BELT IN TAEJUKENPO KARATE: SHE STARTED A KIDS & TEEN: KARATE MEMBERSHIP & TV CLUB: CALLED: KARATE PLAY: IN 1996-2000: SHE IS NOW: STARTING: RECREATION CITY KARATE CLASSES IN TUCSON ARIZONA: WITH GOALS TO OFFER PRIVATE MEMBERSHIP KARATE CLUB CLASSES.

Want more fun? “Taejukenpo karate” doesn’t exist. A google search turned up one (1) result which was…Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson’s Amazon page. Same one where she’s selling the book. Either she’s making the karate thing up, or she went through enough karate training to become a black belt but neglected to ever notice how her discipline was spelled.

THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT SELF-PUBLISH, PEOPLE.

Want another reason why this is insanity? She’s priced her book at $150.00.

Oh God, why have you made your biggest supporters complete and utter loons?